Yo te voy a amar

Dios mío! Yo hablo español bastante bien por tanto yo puedo escribir en español <3
Yo no estoy haciendo nada en este momento excepto estoy pensando ... qué estás haciendo ahora? dónde estás? 

Te extraño, mi amor .



Debe saber cuando sientas tristeza que no puedas calmar, te abrazare en mis brazos <3 Solamente tu <3
No vas a caer, porque yo estoy contigo, mi amor. Como siempre yo te voy a amar, yo te voy a abrazar .
Ayudame, dejame besarte, por favor, quédate conmigo aquí. Mi corazón te pertenece a ti.
Yo siempre te he amado, y amor yo estare. Por siempre a tu lado, prometo mi amor. Te juro ante Dios <3

Sigo muriendo por ti, yo te quiero asi y sin tu amor en mi vida yo no se como podre yo vivir.


Hasta ya no respirar, yo te voy a amar.

He is such a dear!

Basically I am having my head in the clouds and I am interested in you, in a guy from my work. He is such a dear!  I am having a good time when dreaming and thinking of him. I desire to see you now, i dunno. At the moment when you are around me my heart wants to jump out of my chest and this feeling is dangerous, but at the same time it's so lovely :) You should stand beside me more, at least I feel so happy. You are friendly with me what makes me embarrassed and i am losing my mind. I am crazy abt you. Definitely i am.



Don't look at me like that :) I do not answer for the consequences. Your look, seems like you are eating me up. Mhm. <3 I can look at you without rest. You are my favorite at work and when you are talking to me... i don't wanna stop it :) I've been working here for the whole year and you are absolutely Number One Lol
You kinda treated me. Because i was in a misery because of Nichlas. None could pay my attention, but you did. 


I am trying to pull myself together, i barely can handle with this feeling. You look fine and I wanna kiss you.
Oh, Jesus ... i am trying to calm down lol

Let's go back to the old hits.

I'm addicted to Brian McKnight this good Saturday morning. So relaxing music. I'm slowly going to the paradise :)


Here you are, my own list of mine music atm. Check it out. You gotta chill out :) I am in so good mood lol


1) Brian McKnight - When You Wanna Come
2) Brian Mcknight - Back at once ( so ancient song, but still so unbelievable)
3) Kari Jobe - Healer
4) Darren Hayes - If you' ll be my baby
5) The Underdog Project - Miami (Phase inc. mix)
6) The O.C. - California Here We Come
7) John Mayer - All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye
8) John Mayer - Say what you need to say
9) Timbaland feat. One Republic - Apologize
10) Jessica Burciaga - Hold me in your arms


Let's go back to the old hits.

I am peeved.

I don't wanna be peeved but it's completely unacceptable. I wanna get my box, cant wait to get it! Oh god !!!!

It's unreasonable, Anna cant be patient xD I am not like that !!!


My heart is prefect because...
you are inside <33


so cute <33

City and Colour - In the Water I Am Beautiful

smth new <3

Comin' Home- City and Colour

this is all about me, Dallas is great for listening his songs in the train when i am coming home ;*

James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore

Omg, he is so amazing. Love it so bad <33

You are around me

Yeah, i saw you. You were definitely handsome. I like your smile, it's so amazing :] Keep on smiling, por favor.

So many thoughts in my mind. Sometimes I'm squealing like silly teenager, but its youuuu. You are too good to be true ;Р I am going insane when you are around me. And I like this feeling. And I don't need to know if u have someone, i can completely pretend that i am so naive =D haha



And i like this game what we play and i dont wanna stop it anyway <3

I'm watching over you, you are the only one to save me.

Matchbox Twenty - Push with lyrics

Memories

You can always forgive someone who hurt you, but you can never forget what they did, and it still hurts somehow every time you're reminded of it.
I'll always care about you, no matter how badly you hurt me, no matter how many tears i cry ... No matter how much i try to forget you, you'll always be a permanent stain on my heart.

The tears are rolling down on my face.

One of the hardest things in love is when your mind tells you to give up, but your heart won't let you. I was trying not to give up when you gave up. It feels like I lost someone I never had a hold of. Everybody says love hurts but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Loss hurts. Love is the one thing that makes everything better again.

I wish you know how much i wanted to be with you. I remember I wrote to you that letter where I said you don't need to me anymore. I have lied. They say when you love someone let them go. They say if you love someone never give up on them, so I'm letting you go, but I'm not giving up hope on you.

You can't imagine what happened with me when you were gone. And i was really glad to hear that you were happy some time ago. But you didn't know that i was watching you and her and I really REALLY wished you to be happy with her. Do you know much it did hurt me? I was overflow those emotions. I said so many good things about you to her and said that I'm happy for you both and when you broke up with her ... and i was with her and cheered up her by saying that everything will be fine with her. I never was lame or mean. Jesus !!!! I was by my side. I was a person who really LOVED you. Because these words, they wasn't "just words" and I did everything what i could, i tried....YES, I've TRIED !!! No one else can say the same about you.

45 min

Its getting bored with every sec.  45 min left until I can go home. I hate this time when I have no idea what to do when I'm done everything what I have planned before.

I and my mom have ordered a fireplace already. This idea makes me feel good since it has been a big wish for past 2 years and I still cant believe that my wish is about to come true soon. I can think over how decorate and update our living room before x-mas.

I wanna buy a new x-mas tree, a lil bit tinsel, maybe we could acquire a new carpet! It could be so awesome!!!! He-he

Before x-mas I will go to Germany to my aunt 26/11/11

She lives in Munich, but we are coming to Düsseldorf. So we will take a train, it takes 1,5 h to reach there. 

Unfortunately, I wont meet up with my friend Karin. Actually she is going to move out from Austria to Germany in one month to her bf.

And she will be in Berlin and I will be in Munich L So sad …

I'm not gonna be in Germany all my holidays, only 3 days and I will go to my friends in Paris. So cool ^^

I have never been in France, so it will be my first time there. Hahaha I'm not addicted to France like a lot of people here.  Anyway I'm excited about it.

Lyrics - Missing Me by Rj Helton

Every word of this song belongs to you, Nichlas. I'm not crying though at all. I was frustrated. Sometimes i remember almost every word what you have said me before, every last word what made me feel worst. Even for these words i respect you, but it wasn't about me. I'm not like that, like you imagined. You were wrong.

Cry Out To Jesus (worship video w/ lyrics)

REMEMBER!

LIFE DOESN'T GET EASIER, YOU JUST GET STRONGER ! <3

i miss you

I've never missed anyone as much as i'm missing you right now. I miss the look in ur eye when you were looking at me today ... Most of all, I just MISS YOU.  Omg, i MISS you so much right now. I'd give anything just to see you, to hear the sound of ur voice. I wish i could just fall asleep in ur arms. You mean so much to me. I wanna be around you  <3

I hate when you think about someone and start missing them and you really want to see them but you know you can't see them because they live really far away :( I miss my friends right now, i miss Norway so bad <33

Making good love.

The Carrier (2011) Trailer 1

awee he is so hot!!

Monday

I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept much : /

I definitely wanna get back home asap. Oh man, he looked so cute today. But he is always like that haha

I would say I had a good Monday and hope all this week is gonna be good. Looking forward to my box from Korea. It has to come on this week!!!!!! Yay ^^ I love all lovely things from there, Korea seems so cool. Never thought I can say it. For some personal reasons I never liked Korea. But I wanna go there in one year J I hope I will!

I wish I could travel more hehe Can’t wait to my next trip to my aunt. I haven’t seen her for an ages. It always good visit ur siblings, even I feel always so weird ^^ Idk why.

Need keep on working, but who wants to work on this lovely Monday? Definitely not me. 

1h and 20 min until I can go home :)

A Cinderella Story - Dance Scene [HQ]

Soon or later

You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been... and wonder who you really are.
Why I loved you is a hard question to answer. I loved you because you cared for me like no one else I know. Even a fact that it was just words, but sometimes words mean a lot. I loved the way I felt in your arms, so safe from dangers in the world. I love ur eyes, so hypnotic and mesmerizing, beautiful to gaze into, and yet never revealing everything to me. I can't explain every way that I love you because that's in possible. But I can say I love you because I you are you.

I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like... everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is - they just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels... empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't? And i think i have been waiting for you for an ages, honey. I wasn't ready to get you and i was so blind. Of course, you're going to get your heart broken. And it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. That's just part of growing up, and it makes you stronger. Then you can handle it better next time. You may not get through it yourself, but your friends will help you through it. And you'll be a stronger person because of it. Then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break your heart again. I'm looking forward to this time. How i felt myself past 2 year? Well, i was frustrated because I couldn't tell if it was real and i made u hurt. I was mad because I didn't know what to do and what you felt. I was definitely upset because we couldn't make it right. So sad because I needed you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you didn't understand me. Disappointed because we couldn't be together, but still I'll love you forever.

People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that... I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles... and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear. I can dedicate everything to you. You deserve be happy and I hope you are :)

Chad Michael Murray

Edwin Mccain - I'll Be (The original acoustic version)

Chad Michael Murray

I am so fascinated by Chad Michael Murray. He is so lovely and handsome.

Shooting star

When it seems like there is no one left to run to in this empty world you can come to me and I'll be ur shooting star.You can tell me your dreams I can't promise to make them come true, but I'll be there to pick up the pieces of ur broken heart if ur dreams happen to fall through.

I want someone to share my secrets with, someone to talk to late at night when I can't sleep, someone who feels comfortable around my family, someone to comfort me when I'm scared, to hold me when I'm sad, someone who doesn't need to say that he loves me for me to know its true. Someone special.

Have you ever heard a song from so long ago with so many memories what made you cry? And didn't you with that you could go back into time when everything seemed so much simpler and carefree?  I wanna back my sweet 16, definitely I wanna turn that time back. Nope, i don't want to change anything, probably only the situation between me and you.

All our lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us too. I need to find you, maybe i have found you already, but you are not mine. We are not supposed to be along rest of life, very sadly. We all make mistakes and i am mistaken. I didn't want to make you hurt. Who cares it now.
But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I just know that pain I felt so long ago, it was hurting ten time more. I'm not gonna complain, at least i can write a book about all sweet moments over the past five years. It's gonna be fun, I'm pretty sure about it. And I really wanna be ur shooting star, i wanna watching over you for rest of life. This feeling nobody is gonna stop. Actually love is difficult to find, but i got mine and i am not about to give it away. No way :)
No matter what, i will always have got free time for thinking and dreaming of you. I am happy, Nichlas with you or without. But i really am. And wish you feel the same way.

I believe

Jesus, you are stuck in my mind.  I gotta find a way out. How?
You could heal my heart from this loneliness. Deep inside I know I went through all these shitty things not for nothing. I became be stronger. 
But you know the world becomes a place where no wants to stay, and i wanna be there where i meant to be in the right time. You are my own sweet infection. I wanna touch ur cheeks like you touched my heart and took it away. Just close your eyes and i will appear straight away. No doubt Jesus, you're all I've ever needed. You're all I wanted. You have always been more than enough ...

The strands in your eyes.

So finally i've decided to make a blog and I completely could post my thoughts and worries in here. Sounds good, im excited about it. Maybe an inspiration is about to visit me. Who knows. Anyway i don't mind. Actually it wasn't my idea, it came into mind a friend of mine and i am giving a chance by embodying this idea into the reality. And yep, i am gonna write some topics in English and some in Russian. It's not fair writing only in Russian. I doubt it though. Since i need to practice my English. It's the first time when i created something like that and i am gonna keep writing with a huge desire.

When I feel melancholy I would stay in my room all day long. What actually i am doing right now. Perhaps i will fall asleep soon, but i need to finish my first post. So i am still up. My mind is full of thoughts which came into my mind. And absolutely right, of course i am listening to some kind of music what matching to my mood and cheering me up. Completely a good way of being awake. Well, i am listening to I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Definitely amazing song and so romantic. Yeah and the heading of my first topic with the first lines from that song. I'm enjoying ...